Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Bulgarian Boar Blastin' and a Wedding to Boot










So okay,
I admit I'm really no hunter. Not morally opposed, just not yet in the bag of tricks. So when the men of the village invited me along on a boar hunt, I just couldn't say no. Literally, 'cause they had shotguns. So here's what you need to know about the fine art of the Bulgarian boar hunt. First, arm yourself with a powerful weapon. The preferred is a 12 gauge single or double barrel shotgun. Next, gather the troops. About 20 or so should do. Now explain the plan of action in a language so foreign to you it might as well be dolphin squeaks. Quickly check to make sure no one is wearing any bright colors... all camo all the time. Now split up into groups of about 3 or 4. Release the hounds!

Now as quietly as possible march through the woods for 10 or 12 miles. Your guide looks like John Turturo from "O brother where art thou?" A bit chilly? Nyama problem, burn plastic! Hungry? Spokoyno, eat a loaf of white bread. Tired of all this? March home... it's only a short 10 mile hike through unmarked forest. Well, had we caught the boar, the one and only in the entire vast wasteland of forest, it might have been fun.

We did not catch the boar. Still, it was an... experience.

Wedding time!

So here in Bulgaria the weddings all begin as soon as the weather turns. Too much work to be done in the summer you see. So come October, ding dong the bells are gonna ring. More like a drum and clarinet band is gonna blast insanely loud music for hours. Then a DJ and his assistant drummer will blast even louder music for many more hours. Hey get out of your seat and dance the whatever dance it is that they do. In a line, for hours. Wow! that really worked up an appetite. Well that's good because... go ahead tell him what he's won! A dish of cabbage salad and a few olives. Wait there's more: some kind of meat patty, with ketchup! Way.

Then the beautiful bride comes over to you and you give her money. Yeah, quite an experience. To be honest though the dance was pretty easy.

Well we have shoved off from Kruschevo and said goodbye to our terrific hosts and all the great guys at the shop. Smiley and Smiley Jr., Cowman, Big Ears, Ahkmet, Ismail, Happy, Grumpy, Sneezy, wait...what? Anyhow a load of guys who had become my strictest confidantes. It's amazing how easy it is to tell someone all your troubles when they can't understand you and don't care. Really though, I'll miss 'em.

Plovdiv is cool, and rainy and wet. But our flat is sweet, almost so sweet that I added an extra e to make it sweeet. It is on the top floor, no elevator = not sweet, with 3 balconies! Now if we could just stop that rain. We are able to gaze upon old town with mosques and Roman amphitheatres and the good old golden arches of Mickey D's.
The bus depot tested out each of the 10 words I know in Bulgarian. Almost everyone was sort of nice. The information woman sounded exactly like Natasha from Bulwinkle. And one wretched ticket woman was just that, wretched and foul.

The cops were nice.

Anyway yeah, made it to Plovdiv. The home of Vivian the Plovdivian amphibian. Tomorrow we set out for Istanbul on a sleeper car at about 9 pm after we see some of the sights of this Balkan wonderland.
Naz drave', doz vidane, and audi 5000 G!
[Editor's note: thanks to all for their condolences and much love to Sarah, Torrey and mom who are holding down the fort. We are with you in spirit... as always, C]

No comments:

Post a Comment